Why does the family need recovery coaching?
If your loved one has not been in treatment, you definitely need support. The toll that addiction takes on the family is enormous: sadness, feeling powerless over their life and yours, shame, anger, frustration, isolation and exhaustion. This is not living, it is just surviving.
And if your loved one is or has been in treatment? Families have hopes and expectations about how life will be when their loved one returns from a treatment center. After all, they've been there for 30, 60 or 90 days and they must be cured! They're in recovery, ready to rejoin the family, school or work, and all will be as it's supposed to be, right?
The reality is that treatment is only the beginning. Treatment is where your child (spouse, or other family member) gets clean and sober. It's a time and place where he learns about what led him to his dependence on drugs or alcohol. He learns new skills and coping strategies so that when he leaves the protective bubble of treatment or sober living, he will have tools to re-enter the 'real' world.
But what about you? Are you prepared to support and relate to him in a new way? This is imperative! If he returns to 'business as usual', the odds of a successful recovery are reduced.
Family recovery is a major factor in getting your own life back, and supporting your loved one's recovery, rather than enabling the addiction. Recovery requires a wide support system, which includes you, the parents and family members. And for your child to be successful, some things at home need to be different.
You see, addiction has affected the whole family, and the family is recovering as well. The old ways of talking, relating, reacting and setting boundaries need to change if you are to be your loved one's best chance at a sustainable recovery. This is all possible with Family Recovery Life Coaching and the Be A Loving Mirror (BALM SM) program for families.
If your loved one has not been in treatment, you definitely need support. The toll that addiction takes on the family is enormous: sadness, feeling powerless over their life and yours, shame, anger, frustration, isolation and exhaustion. This is not living, it is just surviving.
And if your loved one is or has been in treatment? Families have hopes and expectations about how life will be when their loved one returns from a treatment center. After all, they've been there for 30, 60 or 90 days and they must be cured! They're in recovery, ready to rejoin the family, school or work, and all will be as it's supposed to be, right?
The reality is that treatment is only the beginning. Treatment is where your child (spouse, or other family member) gets clean and sober. It's a time and place where he learns about what led him to his dependence on drugs or alcohol. He learns new skills and coping strategies so that when he leaves the protective bubble of treatment or sober living, he will have tools to re-enter the 'real' world.
But what about you? Are you prepared to support and relate to him in a new way? This is imperative! If he returns to 'business as usual', the odds of a successful recovery are reduced.
Family recovery is a major factor in getting your own life back, and supporting your loved one's recovery, rather than enabling the addiction. Recovery requires a wide support system, which includes you, the parents and family members. And for your child to be successful, some things at home need to be different.
You see, addiction has affected the whole family, and the family is recovering as well. The old ways of talking, relating, reacting and setting boundaries need to change if you are to be your loved one's best chance at a sustainable recovery. This is all possible with Family Recovery Life Coaching and the Be A Loving Mirror (BALM SM) program for families.
Why work with a BALM Family Recovery Life Coach? What will be different?
Fear causes people to react in ways that can make a situation worse: fear of relapse, fear of losing control, fear for a loved one's life. When you respond from fear, you contribute to your child's addiction, instead of his recovery.
Remember, addiction recovery is a family affair.
Working with a Family Recovery Life Coach will help you contribute to your child's recovery. And in my practice I am able to offer you participation in the Be A Loving Mirror (BALM SM) program for families. You will learn to:
* find a place of calm, so you are not overwhelmed by panic and fear.
* respond thoughtfully, rather than react emotionally.
* recall and share with your loved ones your wonderful memories of them before addiction.
* understand what is your responsibility and what is your child's responsibility.
* begin to let go of what you cannot control.
* become a non-judgmental observer.
* share what you see in a respectful and loving way that allows your child to truly hear you.
* gradually let go of resentment and anger over the choices he made.
* create healthy boundaries and get on with your own life.
* treat your child with love and dignity, because he is much more than his addiction.
* be the person who can best support him in making healthy, productive choices.
What if I am already attending Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings, seeing a therapist, or participating in a therapeutic support group?
All of the above are supported and encouraged by family recovery life coaching. Many find that working with a BALM SM Family Recovery Life Coach in conjunction with any/all of the above can help to speed up their personal recovery process.
Do I really need a BALM coach? Can't I just do this by myself?
Without proper support, living with addiction leads to all sorts of ineffective coping strategies. This, in turn, leads to strife, hurt feelings, frustration, tears, anger and a feeling of being alone with no help. Our experience has shown that the situation is too much for any one person, and it's hard to see your part in the 'dance' around your loved one's addiction. It is extremely helpful to have an outside perspective. It is critical to work with someone who can speak to the situation in this new language, and from experience, strength and hope. Most likely you have been contributing to your loved one's addiction. Working with a BALM SM Family Recovery Life Coach will teach you how to contribute to their recovery instead.
How is coaching different from therapy?
While family recovery life coaching can be therapeutic, it is not therapy. Coaching is distinct from traditional therapy because it is not designed to address psychological issues. While emotional issues may arise, the primary focus of BALM family recovery life coaching is designed to teach families a proven method to help them increase their own sanity as well as their loved one's chance at recovery.
Fear causes people to react in ways that can make a situation worse: fear of relapse, fear of losing control, fear for a loved one's life. When you respond from fear, you contribute to your child's addiction, instead of his recovery.
Remember, addiction recovery is a family affair.
Working with a Family Recovery Life Coach will help you contribute to your child's recovery. And in my practice I am able to offer you participation in the Be A Loving Mirror (BALM SM) program for families. You will learn to:
* find a place of calm, so you are not overwhelmed by panic and fear.
* respond thoughtfully, rather than react emotionally.
* recall and share with your loved ones your wonderful memories of them before addiction.
* understand what is your responsibility and what is your child's responsibility.
* begin to let go of what you cannot control.
* become a non-judgmental observer.
* share what you see in a respectful and loving way that allows your child to truly hear you.
* gradually let go of resentment and anger over the choices he made.
* create healthy boundaries and get on with your own life.
* treat your child with love and dignity, because he is much more than his addiction.
* be the person who can best support him in making healthy, productive choices.
What if I am already attending Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings, seeing a therapist, or participating in a therapeutic support group?
All of the above are supported and encouraged by family recovery life coaching. Many find that working with a BALM SM Family Recovery Life Coach in conjunction with any/all of the above can help to speed up their personal recovery process.
Do I really need a BALM coach? Can't I just do this by myself?
Without proper support, living with addiction leads to all sorts of ineffective coping strategies. This, in turn, leads to strife, hurt feelings, frustration, tears, anger and a feeling of being alone with no help. Our experience has shown that the situation is too much for any one person, and it's hard to see your part in the 'dance' around your loved one's addiction. It is extremely helpful to have an outside perspective. It is critical to work with someone who can speak to the situation in this new language, and from experience, strength and hope. Most likely you have been contributing to your loved one's addiction. Working with a BALM SM Family Recovery Life Coach will teach you how to contribute to their recovery instead.
How is coaching different from therapy?
While family recovery life coaching can be therapeutic, it is not therapy. Coaching is distinct from traditional therapy because it is not designed to address psychological issues. While emotional issues may arise, the primary focus of BALM family recovery life coaching is designed to teach families a proven method to help them increase their own sanity as well as their loved one's chance at recovery.
What if I am an addictions counselor or staff member at a treatment facility?
We can partner to make this program work for your client population. Please contact me for more information. You can see an overview, and a list of treatment centers currently providing the BALM for their families, at Family Recovery Resources, home of the BALM Family Comprehensive.
We can partner to make this program work for your client population. Please contact me for more information. You can see an overview, and a list of treatment centers currently providing the BALM for their families, at Family Recovery Resources, home of the BALM Family Comprehensive.
How do I get started?
Schedule a confidential consultation.
Call 201-747-9642, or write to fern@familyrecoverypartners.com.
Schedule a confidential consultation.
Call 201-747-9642, or write to fern@familyrecoverypartners.com.