We're all familiar with the phrase 'hitting rock bottom', especially as it applies to alcoholics and addicts. "They have to hit rock bottom in order to change." What does 'rock bottom' mean, and is it necessary for the addict to hit it?
As low as you can go. A completely unbearable place. No more options. But defining rock bottom is problematic; it means something different to every person.
If you can't pay the rent, nobody will take you in, and you have an intense fear of being homeless, this could be rock bottom. Being arrested for possession might be a turning point for some. For others, four arrests have no effect on their choices. One person may do a turnaround when faced with losing his children. Another may continue on the downward spiral. There is no one rock bottom.
Denial plays a big role here, for both the addict and the family. The person experiencing the disease of Substance Use Disorder denies that he has a problem, that his life is unmanageable.
The family may be in denial, too, making excuses for their using loved one, and ignoring the impact it has on the family system. Family members often become rescuers, picking up the pieces. They are unwittingly enabling their loved one to continue using. And the fall continues.
So what do you do? Do you wait and wait for the worst to happen (whatever that means)? Do you leave it up to your loved one to come to his senses? In the BALM (Be A Loving Mirror) Family Program, we say 'No!'
* The BALM teaches us that an intervention can be prevention, preventing the disease from progressing.
* We learn that we have the ability to influence our loved one to move out of denial and into a desire to live a different life. (Notice that I said 'influence' and not 'control'. You cannot control another.)
* We become aware of our own denial; of when we enable instead of help.
* We do not wring our hands and hope for the best. Hoping will not make it so.
* We learn to share the facts of what we see and hear, with respect and love.
* We learn to set boundaries in order to reduce enabling and to maintain our health, integrity and peace of mind.
* We learn that hitting rock bottom in not the only way for our loved one to wake up.
Being passive in the face of this disease that has taken husbands, wives, sons, daughters, parents and friends is no longer acceptable. Of course, there are no guarantees for anything in life, let alone recovery from addiction; however, we can have a positive impact on our loved ones when we apply the principles and tools of the BALM. Let's make rock bottom a little less rocky.
As low as you can go. A completely unbearable place. No more options. But defining rock bottom is problematic; it means something different to every person.
If you can't pay the rent, nobody will take you in, and you have an intense fear of being homeless, this could be rock bottom. Being arrested for possession might be a turning point for some. For others, four arrests have no effect on their choices. One person may do a turnaround when faced with losing his children. Another may continue on the downward spiral. There is no one rock bottom.
Denial plays a big role here, for both the addict and the family. The person experiencing the disease of Substance Use Disorder denies that he has a problem, that his life is unmanageable.
The family may be in denial, too, making excuses for their using loved one, and ignoring the impact it has on the family system. Family members often become rescuers, picking up the pieces. They are unwittingly enabling their loved one to continue using. And the fall continues.
So what do you do? Do you wait and wait for the worst to happen (whatever that means)? Do you leave it up to your loved one to come to his senses? In the BALM (Be A Loving Mirror) Family Program, we say 'No!'
* The BALM teaches us that an intervention can be prevention, preventing the disease from progressing.
* We learn that we have the ability to influence our loved one to move out of denial and into a desire to live a different life. (Notice that I said 'influence' and not 'control'. You cannot control another.)
* We become aware of our own denial; of when we enable instead of help.
* We do not wring our hands and hope for the best. Hoping will not make it so.
* We learn to share the facts of what we see and hear, with respect and love.
* We learn to set boundaries in order to reduce enabling and to maintain our health, integrity and peace of mind.
* We learn that hitting rock bottom in not the only way for our loved one to wake up.
Being passive in the face of this disease that has taken husbands, wives, sons, daughters, parents and friends is no longer acceptable. Of course, there are no guarantees for anything in life, let alone recovery from addiction; however, we can have a positive impact on our loved ones when we apply the principles and tools of the BALM. Let's make rock bottom a little less rocky.